No More New Year's Resolutions?

That's right!  I said it...I've dropped my New Year's resolutions. 

Someone once said, "High performers commit to consistent improvement, not continual drastic change."


More than a year ago, I read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now."  Tolle's book helped me to always focus on the now for continuous self-improvement. Isn't that the best resolution?  One that is now and always, and not when the clock strikes midnight? I focus my energy on resolutions daily.

Before reading Tolle's book, I would put self-improvements off "until the next day," but soon found that wasn't the best for me.  It produced more anxiety and frustration than it did to focus me on being a better person.  Instead, I put into practice focusing on the now.  Focusing on the now will bring an elevated sense of self (Tolle calls it "ego") to self-reflect, self-observe and self-correct. It allows you to focus now on your life and what is, instead of worrying about five minutes ago or five minutes from now.  You don't have either - you can't go back and you're aren't going forward.  Focus on the now. 


How do I use it?  It's easiest explained by examples for me.


How about patience?  Aren't we tested daily?  How do we usually deal with it?  For example, I'm sitting in the airport a few days ago and many passengers are grumbling about the "long" wait to board the plane.  I ask myself a few things when I feel similar feelings. (This is self-observe.)  Does it really matter in the long run?  Can I affect the wait time?  Is this going to make me happier? (This is self-reflect.)  It's no.  No, it doesn't matter in the long run.  No, I can not make the plane board faster.  And, no, this feeling doesn't make me happier.  So, why do we care? Why do we verbalize our anger?  I "let it go" and take in the moment that is now and accept where I am.  It brings a soothing calm to the situation. (This is self-correct.)

You could take this example to the long grocery store line or congested traffic.  Just let it go.  Let go of your tense feelings and stress.  You can't do anything about it, so accept what is.  Some may say this attitude is too "care-free" but I say, "Does caring about your negative reaction - to a situation you have no control over - help you?"


There are many situations that I ask myself to evaluate my "now" feelings.  Evaluating my feelings allows me to re-focus on what's important in the situation.  What's the use of getting upset that someone hit your car?  It's obvious that you want to be annoyed, angry and ask "why me?" but none of these responses or reactions help.  Accept that it happened and put into action what you need to do next to resolve the situation.  It brings clarity to the situation and many times I can react in the most useful way for me and others.


Going through life, accepting what is now, looking for improvement in yourself in the now, you will have better, less anxiety-producing reactions.  For me, these are great resolutions to keep year round.

Ask "Am I now a better person?" Ask "What is the status quo?"  And, ask "Does it matter?"